It's been a while since I've put some words on paper. I've been busy managing... managing myself because great things are happening! Being self-employed is a constant hustle. When you aren't actually doing the "main work", you are getting out there to make the work happen. Simply waiting for the phone to ring is not an option. It's sort of like a mixed media type of craft... a juggling-of-the-balls, while making sure you don't have too many of them flying all around your head, also reminding yourself not to get distracted by shiny objects. A shiny object being something that sounds really cool and aligned with your vision, but looking further into it, this shininess may take too much of your time, and time is focus, and focus is key. Being able to recognize when to say no, and then actually saying it, is an art form, and quite frankly, it feels fantastic when expressed.
Personally in my case, some days or weeks feel slow, some feel too much, some super exciting, some days I question everything, some days all the dots are connecting and everything makes so much sense.. the list goes and when I take a step back, I realize I love all of it. I realize that the perfect schedule or the perfect balance does not exist, and as soon as I noticed this, it's as if a load evaporated off my shoulders. IT'S HUMAN NATURE to feel all of the above. When things are rolling and puzzle pieces are fitting, yes it can sometimes get overwhelming, but it's mainly SWEET because it means things are developing and this is the hustle. Something clicked this week, and when I welcomed my feelings, things were more clear. I could see some of the shiny objects that were lingering and that I could now pretty easily eliminate. I don't know about you, but I realize that when I allow myself to feel into something rather than resisting it, it's relaxing in a way. I have three main projects on the go that I really care about, all targeting my main mission of helping people move more, feel better and prevent chronic illness. I am working with McGill University on a national exam that will be changing the way physiotherapists in Canada treat people with complex pain. I am also working closely with a very intelligent medical doctor and his team who are teaching me a novel method that uses touch, breathe, body awareness and movement that can be used in treatments. And finally, I continue to grow my practice at The Movement Co with a team of really great practitioners and this place is starting to feel like home. The past two years have been a ride, I'm sure it has been for everyone. It feels like we've been in traffic: start, stop on repeat. Looking back on this traffic jam, I'm proud to say that this time was necessary, and now it finally feels like we can press on the gas pedal and get ROLLLINGGGG!
Why am I rambling on about this? Two main reasons.
Reason #1 for ramble:
We are creatures of habit. I have realized that the same things that stress me out today, stressed me out in elementary school. Feeling like there is not enough time, having too much on my mind or a more comical example, clothes that just don't feel right. Elaborating on this last example, I used to have these yelling fits "Not comfy! Not comfy!"when I would put clothes on that were too bulky or itchy or for whatever reason. I would rip them off and throw the clothes all over my room, making a huge mess. I can still feel the way I felt back then because x number of years later, I still get that feeling! That claustrophobic vibe of certain clothes remains, but the way I deal with it is different (I hope). The point I'm trying to make is that people don't really change, we evolve and we can use this to our advantage. We all have access to a personal tool box of ways to manage certain patterns in our life, we just need to be aware, to feel, and then look inside this box. Tools that have worked in the past, will likely work now and in the future. Our response to triggers can be less and less and life can be a whole lot easier. The second I stop resisting and tune in, the lighter I feel. Am I making sense? I invite you to pause and think about this for a second. What are your patterns?
Reason #2 for ramble:
The concept of welcoming versus resisting applies to many areas in life, one of which is pain. Someone who is dealing with complex forms of pain will naturally want this pain to disappear. They wake up, feel the pain and immediately wish for it to be gone. Instead of resisting that pain away, it is usually helpful to look into it. How does it feel right now in this moment? What can we do that has worked in the past? Simply saying "I want this pain to stop" doesn't work, just like saying "don't be scared" or "stop being stressed" doesn't work. Instead, let's go with it. Dig in your tool box, rediscover your methods and lighten the load. It's as if learning to manage, rather than forcing the push away, takes the pressure off.
This particular post may not be too straight forward and may seem a bit all over the place, but that's okay. I just wanted to put some words on paper (or screen or whatever you call it) for a pause moment, now I gotta run! Thanks for reading.